One question adoptees often ask -Did my mother hold me?”

In the back of the mind of many adoptees lies the question, ‘Did my mother hold me?’

Bringing new life into the world is most usually a joyous wonderful occasion. That precious moment a new little human is placed onto the breast of its mother. The mother who had carried and nurtured it for 9 months and to which an intrinsic cellular connection is made. However for some women that joyful moment is snatched away especially if the baby was going for adoption.

 I often asked myself that question, “Did my mother hold me?’

birth mother and newborn baby

As a mother myself I know that feeling when you first see your child. Your heart wants to burst. You’re filled with unconditional love the likes you’ve never experienced before. It’s all consuming.

Conversely I also experienced the moment after birth that a child was removed from my sight. That moment created a vacuum and sucked me into it.  Two ends of a continuum. One filled with nothing but love the other with nothing but fear.

How does the baby respond you may wonder to being removed from its mother. Does it cry in alarm at the strangeness of the world or does it settle unperturbed into whatever life offers? Ask an adoptee what they think and feel about it. The primal wound ( as that is what it is) lies open and gaping and can for many adoptees prove untenable to such a degree that life itself becomes a struggle and joyless.

I am truly blessed as both an adoptee and a birth mother. My mother did hold me and I eventually got to hold my son. But for many the story is very very different. 

If this resonates in any way and you want to explore further. Reach out to me.

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